For most of my life, I’ve deluded myself into thinking that I don’t care about beauty or looks. Well, deluded might be such a strong word. After all I consider myself a late bloomer. I used to have an attitude of snobbishness towards women who gives too much attention to how they look, primping and prettying themselves in the mirror. I used to believe that I am better than them, with me having much better things to worry about than how I look. Like grades, or extra- curricular activities.
All throughout my highschool to college years, I did not use any skin care products at all. I was actually confused why most of the girls in my class will ask for some powder from a classmate and put it in the folds of their hanky. I had literally no idea what it is for. In college, you’d mostly see me with naked face, a ponytail and that’s it. Since this is my lifestyle, I use to have a negative impression of females who spend hours in the comfort room with all their kikay (beauty) kits. Who has time for that, I’d think to myself. When you’re super busy with academics, school governance, extra curricular activities and part-time jobs, who has time to comb their hair? Yes. I was that girl. I was a geek and an overachiever. Part of my annoyance with primping girls is the fact that they do spend more time in the mirror. But I think majority of it was because I did not consider my looks will improve regardless of how many make up I put on. So my normal defense is to hide behind my achievements and focused on improving my mind more than my face. (yeah, talk about insecurity)
I never really thought of myself as a beauty blogger. And even now, despite the fact that my blog has “beauty” in its title, and the contents reek of beauty products, I still don’t consider myself a beauty blogger. I think of this blog as an avenue. A way to express my frustration and my elation at finding stuffs that works (for me, if not for anything else). At the same time, I wanted to make sure that those products that works, gets their love and support and following. Of course, I wouldn’t want to find out one of these days that the only product that works for me will be discontinued because there’s only a few handful of customer who uses them (which is sometimes the case). But more than that, I wanted to share my journey to being beautiful. (Not that I am not beautiful, mind you. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I’ve heard a couple of times from my daughter that she thinks I am beautiful). Hehe.
I want to encourage other people but mostly remind myself what beauty is all about. We tend to get so caught up with what the world says is beautiful that we missed what beautiful really is. That beauty is more than just having a perfect face, or the perfect body. It’s more than having people proclaim you as the Most Beautiful Woman in the World, the country, the city, the school, the community or the classroom. Beauty is more than all of that. I wanted to share the things that I find beautiful. The things that catches my breath and makes me go beyond myself. I want to talk about the struggles that women faces in search for beauty. I want to talk about the things that makes women beautiful. With or without the make-up. More than anything, this blog is all about me learning to accept myself. And being my own kind of beautiful.